


Tell Me Why

by IntoTheStardust



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Out, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Stucky - Freeform, Unrequited Love, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, because flashback, it takes place in both 1939 and modern day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2019-01-01 06:16:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12150423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IntoTheStardust/pseuds/IntoTheStardust
Summary: Steve has just one important question; Why?





	Tell Me Why

**Author's Note:**

> Put my playlist on shuffle, got Backstreet Boys' "I Want It That Way". Messaged my friends asking for the first ship they thought of, got Stucky. This is the result. Enjoy! :)

"Do you remember what you said to me, every time I asked if we could be more than friends?"

Bucky nodded, dropping his eyes to the floor. 

"Yeah, I remember," he said softly, his voice breaking on the last few syllables as emotion threatened to overtake him. 

“And do you remember what you said the last time I asked?” Steve said gently, laying a hand reassuringly on Bucky’s shoulder.

Bucky opened his mouth to respond, but then closed it again as tears began to fall from his eyes and across his cheekbones. He reached up and wiped them away with the back of his hand, then nodded. 

***

**_December 7th, 1939_**

"Steve, no," Bucky groaned with frustration. 

"But why?" Steve asked. The same question, so many times, and yet he’d never gotten an answer. 

Bucky regarded him seriously for a minute, saying nothing, just looking into Steve’s eyes with an expression Steve couldn’t quite place. Was it anger? Annoyance? Doubt?

“You know why,” he finally answered, stepping away from Steve and walking to the other side of the room, leaning against the wall beside the window and staring out of it, though his gaze seemed miles away.

“No, I don’t, Buck,” Steve said, moving to stand a few steps behind him. “I wouldn’t ask if I did.”

“Steve I just—” Bucky cleared his throat, pausing for a second before continuing, “I just can’t, alright?”

Steve shook his head, “No, Buck, it’s not alright.” He’d dropped the subject so many times already, he wasn’t going to do it again, not until he got an actual answer. 

“Steve—” Bucky said softly, but before he could say more Steve interrupted him. 

“Buck, just _answer_ me, please,” Steve said, reaching out and grabbing onto Bucky’s elbow, tugging him so that they were facing each other. Bucky was caught off guard and stumbled slightly, turning his face away, but not before Steve caught sight of the shimmering of tears in his eyes and the solitary drop that trailed down across his cheek. “Buck?” he asked, his tone immediately changing to something gentler. Steve raised a hand, moving to wipe away the tear—or rest it reassuringly on Bucky’s shoulder, he wasn’t sure—but before he could do either Bucky caught his hand in one of his own. 

Neither of them said anything for a moment, and Steve swore that he could hear the sound of both their hearts in the almost-deafening silence. 

“Steve,” Bucky said finally, his voice quiet, looking down at where their hands held each other. “Don’t you think I want it, too? Do you think, for one second, that I don’t want to be with you?” 

“But you always—” Steve said, cut off by a sad little laugh from Bucky, who bowed his head, his lips forming a shaky smile. 

“Forget what I always say,” Bucky said, looking back up at Steve, “I didn’t mean it.”

“Then…why…?” Steve coaxed. 

Bucky took a shaky breath, more tears threatening to spill over. “Because I don’t—” his voice broke, and he took a moment to regain himself before he started again, “Because I don’t want you to get hurt.” At Steve’s quizzical look, Bucky continued, “Steve, you’re already beat up every second day. If you and I were together, if people found out about us…” he trailed off meaningfully. 

“And if I said that I don’t care about that?” Steve asked. 

Bucky shook his head, “I know you don’t, Steve. But I do. You have no idea how much it hurts me to see you after you’ve been in a fight. If I was the one to blame for it…I couldn’t live with myself.”

“Buck…” Steve said gently, stepping forward, but Bucky shook his head, dropping Steve’s hand as he stepped backwards.

“Steve, I just can’t, please. Please understand,” Bucky begged. 

“I do understand, Buck, I really do,” Steve promised. “But I also understand that I l—”

“Steve,” Bucky interrupted, voice vulnerable. “Please, don’t…” 

Steve hesitated for a second before he continued, “I love you, Buck,”

The words broke something in Bucky. It started with the tremble in his lips, and then he let out a choked sob, the tears he had been holding back flowing freely down his face. He dropped onto the couch beside him, pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes in an effort to stem the tide of tears. “Why?” he managed between shaky breaths, his voice strained and rough. “Why did—why did you have to say that?”

“Because I do, Buck,” Steve said, sitting down slowly beside him and wrapping an arm around his shoulders reassuringly. He felt a few warm drops sliding across his own cheeks. “I love you,”

Steve felt every heave of Bucky’s shoulders as he sat with his head in his hands, silent tears still falling as Steve rubbed small circles against his back. He wished he could do more to comfort him, but in his own teary state he could think of nothing. 

Bucky drew a deep, shaky breath, and then let it out slowly. “I love you, too, Stevie,” he said, barely loud enough for Steve to hear. He sniffed loudly, then sat upright, wiping at his eyes with the ends of his sleeves. When he’d managed to gather himself he turned to face Steve, who still had an arm draped across his shoulders. He felt a stab through his heart when he saw the tear tracks on Steve’s face. “Oh, Steve,” he said voice a mixture of fond and sad. He reached forward and used his sleeve to clear away Steve’s tears just as he had his own, though he used a much greater degree of care with Steve than he had on himself. Bucky met Steve’s eyes with his own for a few seconds, savouring the moment, committing it to memory, and then he got up, Steve looking after him with confusion as he walked over to where he had tossed his coat earlier in the day. 

“Are you leaving?” Steve asked, but Bucky didn’t reply. “Buck?” Again Bucky ignored him, heading for the front door. Steve walked quickly and grabbed onto his arm to stop him. “Buck, come on, why are you leaving? You just said that—that you love me, and now—”

Bucky turned, bending down slightly and cupping Steve’s jaw in one hand as he leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to Steve’s lips. When he pulled back Steve was looking at him in surprise, a thousand questions undoubtedly running through his mind. Bucky offered him a watery smile, “It’s because I love you that I’m leaving.” He rubbed his thumb delicately across Steve’s cheekbone where his hand still cupped his face, Steve gazing up at him with wide, hopeful eyes. After a moment of hesitation, Bucky leaned forward again and placed a lingering kiss to Steve’s cheek. He dropped his hand from Steve’s face and drew back from the kiss, instead wrapping his arms tightly around Steve. He hugged him close as Steve did the same, the tip of his nose pressing against the soft skin of Steve’s neck. He let himself remain there for a few seconds, letting himself enjoy the closeness. He had to leave, though, and he knew that the longer he waited the harder it would become, and so he dropped his arms to his sides and turned away. He gave one last little smile over his shoulder at Steve, who stood watching him teary-eyed, but made no move to try and stop him. He took a bracing breath, and with that he walked out, closing the door behind him. 

***

**_Now_**

“And what do you think now?” Steve asked. 

Bucky tilted his head slightly, “What?” 

“Well,” Steve gave a tentative smile, “your argument that I’d get beaten up…it doesn’t really stand anymore, does it?”

Bucky was quiet for a second as he processed what Steve had said. “You mean…” he said slowly, “Are you asking me if I still have feelings for you?”

“That’s exactly what I’m asking,” Steve confirmed.

“You would still want to be with me?” Bucky asked, surprised. Steve nodded with a smile. “Even after everything?” Bucky asked, voice inflected with bitterness directed at himself. 

“Buck,” Steve said with a gentle smile, his eyes softening, “I have, and will _always_ , love you.”

“How can you say that?” Bucky asked quietly, dropping his eyes to the floor. 

“Because it’s true,” Steve replied in the same tone, and Bucky’s head shot back up, gazing at him with such a mixture of emotions that Steve couldn’t even begin to place them. He watched as Bucky continued to look at him, opening his mouth multiple times to say something only to close it again. Whatever internal struggle he was going through, it was difficult, going by the way his jaw tensed every now and then, how his nostrils flared as his breathing became heavier and less even, and the gathering liquid in his eyes that threatened to spill over. The silence in the room was overpowering, both leaving a gaping emptiness and suffocating all at once. 

“Steve,” Bucky finally choked out, pressing the heel of his hand to his eyes, and the sight was so familiar, so reminiscent of the last time he had done it, that Steve didn’t even have to think before he closed the gap between them and drew Bucky into his arms, pulling him as close to him as he could. 

“Hey, Buck, it’s alright,” Steve soothed, “I’ve gotcha. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Bucky insisted quickly with a small sniff. “I love you too, Steve.”

“You’re not gonna get up and leave again this time, are you?” Steve asked, only half joking. He could tell by the way Bucky tensed that he saw through Steve’s attempt at using humour to cover up his worry. 

“No, never again,” Bucky said firmly, squeezing impossibly tighter against Steve. 

“I love you,” Steve said again, just for the sake of it.

“I love you, too,” Bucky replied. Steve couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face, nor the warm tears of happiness that fell down his cheeks and glistened in his eyelashes when he blinked. He’d waited so long to have this—they both had, from the looks of things, and finally— _finally_ —they could. 

Bucky pulled back after a few minutes, wiping a hand across his face to get rid of the tears that had left their mark there. When he looked up at Steve he gave a small chuckle. 

“You and your crying,” Bucky said with a teasing smile as he wiped away the tears on Steve’s cheeks, but there was no malice in his words. 

“You’re one to talk,” Steve shot back with a grin. Their eyes met as they drank in the sight of each other, and it seemed only natural when Steve leaned in, connecting their lips in a sweet kiss. It lasted far longer than the previous kiss they’d shared more than fifty years ago. Steve could taste the remnants of salt that tears had left behind on Bucky’s lips, and he suspected he probably tasted just the same. Still, it was good. Better than good. Steve raised an arm to thread his fingers gently through Bucky’s hair, pulling him closer. Bucky hummed contentedly, sliding his tongue over Steve’s lower lip. Steve graciously parted his lips in reply, allowing their tongues to slide together in warm heat. Unfortunately, they were both still human, and after a few minutes they pulled apart, gasping, and rested their foreheads together as they caught their breath. 

“You had shorter hair last time we did that,” Steve said breathlessly, playing idly with the strands still wrapped around his fingers. Bucky snorted, and soon both he and Steve had dissolved into laughter until they were crying again, stealing kisses every few seconds from smiling mouths. It seemed a wonder that they were here, now, surrounded by joy and the warm embrace of someone that loved them dearly. There was bound to be horrible things on the horizon, but for now all that mattered was them, all they could _think_ of was them, and they deserved it.

**Author's Note:**

> AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUUUUU


End file.
